Like a funeral home director on trial for desecrating a corpse (multiple counts)
Andrew Stiles • November 15, 2022 4:40 pm
Stroke victim and senator-elect John Fetterman (D., Pa.) wore a suit on Tuesday while visiting the U.S. Capitol building.
How did he look?
Awful—like a funeral home director on trial for trying to form a death metal band using human marionettes.
As the Washington Free Beacon reported last month, Fetterman looks very bad in a suit. He prefers to wear hoodies and cargo shorts—it’s more authentic, but only if you ignore the fact that Fetterman lived on handouts from his rich father until he was 49 years old. He insists on showing off his scrawny legs, which make him look like a polio survivor.
Reporters attempted to ask Fetterman if he’ll ever be able to wear his hoodie on the Senate floor. (Probably not, it’s not a Denny’s, for crying out loud.) The future senator “didn’t answer,” most likely because he remains unable to converse without the assistance of large closed-captioning monitors, and there is no guarantee that his condition will ever improve.
Can I ask one last question?
Is Fetterman’s wife… hot?
Great question. Sort of? Usha Vance, wife of senator-elect J.D. Vance (R., Ohio), is way hotter.